Monday, September 27, 2010

On Butterfly's Wings

"Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children."  Kahlil Gibran

 Today I screamed inside my head. Three days of work down the drain because IT failed to tell me about a problem with the database. And, as always, everyone was waiting and everyone was screaming.

In the midst of the screaming a butterfly told me of children in need. A story I recognized all to well in my own family, only, I fear the storyline for my family has a better chance for a happy ending than this one. As I listened to the story I pondered a most unusual status I posted on Facebook. I thought it odd that it struck me this morning, but went with the flow and left a quote I stumbled upon as my status. Now the words came back to me as loud as the screams of "urgent" in my email and the phone ringing off the hook.

The debacle overtaking my work will be forgotten in a few days. The lives and hearts of children, so young, so unattended will still be there for years to come. I can scream, corporate and anyone with email at work can scream and let their displeasure be heard. The children who know not love, have little to eat, fear the violence outside their doors and know only abuse, they cannot. If they should scream who would notice? My screams and those screaming at me will create some result. I will make my coffee, several pots, and get it all done tonight, with or without sleep. Their screams, if only the uncertain beating of their hearts and eyes that do not understand but know something is wrong, will see no result even if they stay awake all night alone in their child's mind and fear.

I know what it is like to scream so that no one hears. And as the screams that everyone could hear raged through the day, I remained with these children and the countless numbers we do not even know. I listened for their screams in the absence of laughter. I listened for their screams in the absence of food. I listened for their screams in the absence of arms to pick them up and hold them, just because. I listened for their screams in the absence of love and hope. As I listened the other screams faded. As I listened my own screams faded. As I listened I struggled for a different way to scream.

And so I leave this simple post tonight. It has no happy ending to report. Nor, have I resolved the voice I felt and feel within me. The voice that says 'listen' and in listening do not scream but your voice must be heard. Many voices must be heard, but I will start with mine. And so my heart found a swing to sit next to the empty one representing all those children that should be there but have no voice. We'll sit together until I figure it out.  That's a start, no one was sitting with many of them anyway. And for those who were, 

Namastè I would be honored to join my voice with yours.