Friday, January 22, 2010

Rhythm of Life Hijacked

      I am a wolfer. I am also a sandpiper. Aside from chocolate, food has always been a lot like ironing-you don’t necessarily enjoy the process (eating) but you enjoy how you look (no low blood sugar). Since food holds little fascination I am a wolfer. Long before your napkin is in place and you’ve arranged your fork, knife and beverage I have inhaled my meal. Likewise my walking is equally fast. My short legs, like a sandpiper on the beach, go flying and I speed my way through life. My coworkers have more than once threatened to put a bicycle flag on me so they can keep track of me. The combination of wolfer and sandpiper gives a whole new meaning to the concept of fast food.
      This week, thanks to the winter and a mercenary Milk Dud I am neither a wolfer nor a sandpiper. The combination of the snow’s transition to freezing rain and the frozen melted snow has created blankets of ice on the parking lots and sidewalks. Speed, no longer an option, has been replaced by the timid plodding Minnesota shuffle. The kamikaze Milk Dud’s destruction included one pulled tooth and half a root canal. Enough said of that. Since the visit to the dentist I have been reduced to a cautious nibbler of soft foods. I have had to allow an extra 15 minutes to get ready for work – the length of time it takes me to piece my way through a breakfast bar. Aaauugh! Life has come to a screeching, deliberate, painstaking and painful halt, or extremely slow motion at the least.
      The rhythm of life has been interrupted, disrupted, derailed and hijacked. No longer can I go from point A to point B aware of only A and B. No, there is a journey between A and B. There is thinking. There is consideration. There is awareness and deliberation. Note to self: pay attention to life’s syllabus and avoid detention hall.