Wednesday, November 10, 2010


Those who noticed probably saw clouds.
Those who did not notice, missed the clouds dancing in the sky.
I saw clouds.
I saw feathers.
I quite simply, saw white.

A cataract was removed from my eye yesterday. I have been struggling to read for a bit of time. I was anxious to be able to read, to see my work and to read without a struggle. What I was not prepared for, was the discovery that numbers and words were not the only thing I could not see. I had lost the ability to see colors. I work with numbers. I work with words. The loss was noticed immediately. I do not work in colors. I did not miss their loss. 

Last night I discovered the white on the background of this web page. I discovered the whiteness of a sheet of paper. I laughed to see a white paper towel. I could see white. And white, trust me, is not the absence of color. At work today I printed everything in color. I will confess to giggles as I walked back to my office, opening the bad eye to see the dingy world. Closing the bad eye to see a world of white, reds, greens, yellows and blue. Yes, I can now, out of the good eye, see the other colors, but it is the color of white that has captured my heart.

In the midst of my absolute child like wonder over colors, over white, my heart paused and my breath jumped. I did not know. I had not missed them. My world had become dingy and I did not notice. I stood with firm resolve, from the knees of my heart, to never again not notice. Perhaps white was first restored because it is a simple color, a simple truth.  My job may be with numbers. My passion may well be with words. But my heart will forever be white. And I will tend that white flame forever with you precious Keeper of my heart and breath.